How to Stop a Money-Suck
My Impulsive Shopping Habit
Two years ago, when I first stepped back to look at the mountain of clothes above, huffing and puffing from pulling every item out of my closet, I was mortified. Not because there were many I didn’t wear- I did wear most of these clothes. But if I asked myself if I truly felt excited about putting them on, my answer would be a resounding no.
So why did I have a mountain of clothes I didn’t feel good in? The answer is a complicated one.
Ever since I started earning my own money, I have enjoyed spending it on clothes. I don’t consider myself exceptionally trendy, but I am a person who sees clothing as an extension of my personality. When my favorite color was pink, I would wear only pink. In the days when I was enthralled with Japanese street fashion, I would scour sites like tokyofashion.com for style ideas. As a shy girl, I liked the idea of showing people a little part of myself from a distance, without having to interact.
I went to college in a town that was very much a college town. I had friends, but aside from bi-weekly coffee dates, I didn’t have a lot going on in my spare time. One of the only places I felt comfortable going to by myself was the mall. Coincidentally, our small-town mall had my favorite store at the time, Forever 21. Before too long, I was buying clothes there almost every weekend. By my sophomore year, my closet was bursting with clothes. Although my classmates often complimented me on my outfits, I found that the joy of self-expression I used to find in clothing was slipping away.
When I looked at myself in the mirror, my reaction was not a positive one. Instead of adoring my clothes, I brutally nitpicked my appearance. The adult-onset acne that I couldn’t seem to keep at bay, the weight I was putting on. I didn’t appreciate myself, regardless of the clothes. Combine all that with a phone call from my dad (who managed my credit card) asking why I spent $500 on clothes in a month, I knew something had to give.
So I dedicated myself to making a change; to reining in my runaway clothes shopping, and focusing on cultivating a better self-image. I went all-in on the KonMari Method (which I might discuss in another post), but while reflecting on my journey from mindless spending to a me who truly loves myself and my clothes (and has a better relationship with money!), I have a few tips to share that were instrumental in overcoming my harmful shopping habit.
My Money-Suck-Stopping Tips
- Track your expenses diligently — No Excuses!
Before my dad called to tell me how much I was spending to fuel shopping habit, I had no idea what the financial impact was. Whether it’s coffee, video games, or fountain pens, if you track your transactions consistently and categorize them, it won’t take long to see where your money is going. Any tracking system you use will only be effective if you’re dedicated to using it. I use Personal Capital, which I love because it automatically creates categories for my spending.
2. Reflect on what hole this spending is filling in your life
I overspent on clothes to relieve boredom and to cover up my growing self-esteem issues in early adulthood. Take some time to ask yourself questions about why you engage in this type of spending so regularly. At what times do you make these purchases? Are they all large purchases you can make incrementally with Afterpay? Are they automatic charges to your card?
3. Devise a non-restrictive plan for scaling back
With any lifestyle change, being overly restrictive only makes you bounce back to your bad habits, sometimes worse than before. Set SMART goals that are realistic and gentle. I feel that doing anything cold-turkey never works. For my clothes shopping, I began to limit myself to one item of clothing a month, as long as it stayed within my monthly budget. Instead of mindlessly going to the mall and ripping whatever looked remotely cute off the rack, this allowed me to start being more mindful about my clothing choices. I began looking forward to the end of the month when I could let myself buy that one new top or dress I had been eyeing that month.
4. Find a free or low-cost hobby related to your money-suck
I think this tip can be optional if you implement the other three, but it’s also a fun one! Finding something new to try that is related to the thing you’ve been overspending on can transform your relationship with that item, and even help you build a skill. Instead of going out for dinner and drinks every weekend, invite a friend over for a personal cooking class and learn their signature dish from them. Instead of buying expensive exotic plants at the garden center, try growing plants from seed. For me, in addition to my one-item-a-month shopping rule, I learned to sew my own clothes. There are plenty of inexpensive sewing patterns online, and a few yards of fabric can often be less expensive than clothing in a retail store.
My goal with this post is not to introduce shame into your spending habits. Occasional indulgences in the things you love are wonderful — and I think even necessary — on the path to financial health. But for those who find themselves slipping into old habits from month to month, I hope you can take something away from my personal experience.
Originally published at https://shygirlfi.com on January 19, 2021.
